Category: Dating

When is the alarm clock going to go off to wake me!  Times sure have changed.

Yes Lord, I do think Casanova is dead and buried somewhere with Jimmy Hoffa, never to be found or reincarnated.

One part of me wants dating to be like it was a long time ago.  I don’t mean sitting on the porch and holding hands and shyly grinning at each other, but winning the respect of the other person and getting to know that someone and establishing a relationship with them.  A relationship built on something solid and fundamental (like family values) and less superficial and superfluous.  To me, relationships should be like how the pyramids were built….from the ground up, with the ground being wider, stronger; with more work put into it to reach the top.  These days, people tend to start from the top, but they tend not to stick around after the physicality of love is spent and the hard part (mental nourishment) begins to unfold.  All things without foundations surely crumble.

The old fashioned, traditional part of me wants to be submissive but only if he knows in which direction he’s headed.  Being old fashioned and being independent is so difficult for someone who is indeed trapped in-between two time zones.  The independent part of me is necessary for survival, and the old fashioned part of me is just the way I am and sometimes the two just don’t mix.  What am I to do, here in the twilight zone?

I don’t complain.  I just try to make sure that I’m doing the right thing.  I think not of what one would do today; but I think of what was right yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  No muss, no bother, just plain and simple values.

There is so much to be learned from the older women and the older men of yesteryear.  I think we miss a blessing when we let so much of the world about us incorporate us into the miss matches that are awaiting us.  Following ones first mind is not a bad idea when you really think about it, if your mind flashes a caution light.  Just think about it and get off on how wonderful it can be to hold back just a little bit.  Hold back at least until you know yourself well enough to determine what time it is.

Trapped and being squeezed to conform, but holding fast to what I know is right.

PS

Twenty two years have passed since I wrote this piece.  The theme is even more relevant today. 

Maybe that hard earned dollar has something to do with males thinking they should be allowed to have sex on the first date.  If he buys you dinner; you’re his for the night, is the thought pattern behind most date processes.  One night stand sure has taken on a whole new meaning.  Guess what?  So many females sell themselves short because they let the guy take them to bed and all he’s done is buy them a few drinks and followed them home in their car.  Does he respect them?  Will he call again because he wants to get to know her better…maybe?  Why buy the cow if you can get the milk free?  Giving up easily will make you the chaser and him the chasee.

No such luck here, baby.  A guy has got to do a lot more than spend a couple of bucks before I even consider the notion of having sex with him.  For starters, he has got to have more going for himself than his penis.  I mean, I want to know if he knows anything about current events….and what makes the world go around.  I hope you read me correctly.  I said having sex with him, because that’s all it would be at that point.

When we start to talk about love then we’re entering a whole new territory that is about as misunderstood, vague, and ambiguous as some of the other things that are going on today in the realm of real versus make believe I love you.

I sometimes wonder if men think they have to say something about sex in order to make themselves look or feel macho.  I’m sure there are some men out there that take as much pride in their bodies as some women.  I mean, why jump in the sack with someone you hardly know?  AIDS is a killer, an equal opportunity destroyer; and from what I’ve heard, venereal diseases or STDs are still on the rise, so I tend to be more than careful about this dating business.

And that’s exactly what it’s gotten to be; a business of sorts.  You sort them out according to what they can do for you materially, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Yes, men and women are going Dutch.  She can even ask him out, pick him up, and spend the night at his place, without him even opening the car door for her.

I must be getting old.  I’m no longer enthusiastic about dating or becoming emotionally involved with a man.  Dating is just too much work.

I have to force myself to be sociable to the guy that has little conversation but plenty of ego.  Men have forgotten how to romance a woman and how to keep her interested.  It’s almost as if they’re afraid to say anything because you might think they actually have an opinion about something.

I’m not a mean or unlikable person, and most people find me very easy to talk to; it’s just that the bottom line is always sex along with the date, and he “definitely” has no trouble expressing that.

It appears to me that a female can’t go out and have a good time without the male bringing up sex and saying something like “would you like to go home with me for a massage?”  If I want a massage; I’ll ask him if he gives me the chance to.

Whatever happened to going out, having a nice time, laughing, talking, and saying goodnight at the door?  People don’t want to savor the good times; they think they have to consummate the date with sex in order for it to be a worthwhile evening out on the town.

I’m sure it must be a turn off to a lot of the more matured women when a man always approaches her about the bedroom and what he would like to do when he gets her there.  Well, my Mother always said, “If a man has to talk about it so much then he probably couldn’t do too much once he got you there.”

It’s hard for a woman to have little feline encounters, without the man she’s flirting with thinking she wants to get in-between the sheets.  Back in the day; flirting use to be a harmless healthy sport  played without deadly consequences.  Women winked and blinked and never thought about having a near death experience.  Today it’s dangerous for a woman to engage in harmless flirtations.  Now the more responsible woman is holding back and trying to play it safe, so she won’t be sorry.

I met this man late July 2010 at the airport as I waited for a flight to Amsterdam.  We started dating after my return to the states.  This romance lasted until Christmas of the same year.  By that time I knew him better and decided that before 2011 I would end our short bittersweet intimacy.  In short – by November; he wasn’t who I thought he was.

 My Darling Rodney, …September 9, 2010

 I could say I’ve learned what the real meaning of love is due to past experiences and misguided adventures into the realms of infatuations, but now I know love means much more than an unbalanced superficial attraction of those looking for love in all the wrong places.

Kinship, affection, laughter, tenderness, admiration, common interest, warmth, enthusiasm, devotion, and a passion that won’t be contained is what I’m experiencing with YOU.

You thrill me, make me laugh, and soothe my spirit with your watery soul.  My fish runs upstream…almost dragging me along as we wade through a world filled with all matters of deceptions.

I don’t fear you Baby, but easily feel your tug and pull.  Hold me tight.  I won’t break as I lay my head against your chest to rest in still waters that run deep.

It’s too late.

You’re out of time.

No more stringing me along.

I am not weak.

 I hear the throng as I weep.

But I know that tomorrow I’ll sleep,

Peacefully and without regret.

You see,

I’m a woman in need,

of one thing,

true love and devotion,

not arguing and commotion.

 I love you still. 

I always will.

I freely give back your ring.

I can see a light,

at the top of this hill.

 It shines brightly and beckons me on.

I must believe in my abilities,

no shelter have I found in thee.

Oh,

I thought,

you had such possibilities.

But, no matter.

No love loss as they say.

I have weighed the situation,

therefore I’ll pray,

and thank God.

For I have found my way.

I’m free to love,

myself,

this day.